wausau city council members

They think these resolutions have no teeth and they are not going to do anything, Salm said. The city has a severe affordable housing shortage and advocates have called for building more units for low income people. While making the community attractive to talented, industrious, and creative individuals, as well as new industries and employers vital to the prosperity of this citys future, we must engage and encourage those members of the community that are already invested and involved residents. I feel seen.. McElhaney also shamed the Council for what she called finger-pointing in recent weeks. When I knock on doors, I think street maintenance is a big complaint. According to reporting done by Brian Kowalski, there are 430 total affordable housing units in the city Removing East High would eliminate 46 of them, according to HUDs data sheet. The whole purpose of the program is to leverage city assets for developers to make long term improvements. Previously, he had been Sheriff of Marathon County, Wisconsin; Chairman of the Marathon County Board; a member of the Wausau City Council and Mayor of Wausau. In District 5, James Wadinski received 52% of the vote, with Joel Lewis getting 46%. City Hall (407 Grant Street, Wausau WI 54403) - Council Chambers Members of the public who do not wish to attend in person may view the meeting live or after the fact via the internet on the District 3:Incumbent Tom Kilian defeated Jo Ann Egelkrout with 65% of the vote. Start by recognizing that affordable housing is not just a city but a regional and state issue, seek to collaborate with surrounding communities and explore innovative strategies employed across the nation to address housing shortage (such as tax incentives, flexing zoning, municipal bond elections, etc). If we were able to allocate more funds to various projects in the area using foresight instead of hindsight, we might be able to get ahead of potential issues before they ever arise. If the council does not approve Gisselman and Kilian's request, a COW meeting can also be called by Mayor Katie Rosenberg or City Council President Becky McElhaney. I am hoping that this future Committee of the Whole meeting, if approved by the majority of my colleagues tomorrow, provides a formal opportunity for discussion on the variety of issues described above, and serves as a foundation for future productive deliberations and actions to address these evident, longstanding municipal voids and deficits, Kilian said. Im very tired of it.. 407 Grant St Wausau, WI 54403 . Kham T. Yang, a, Mayor and Chamber insist Wausau will welcome and help new arrivals Damakant Jayshi Some elected and business leaders in Wausau believe the community is eager to welcome new refugees, including Afghans, as part of a, Damakant Jayshi The debate over diversity resolutions in Marathon County and Wausau exposed rifts not only between elected officials but also among members of the community, mirroring a divide that, polls show, is only getting, Damakant Jayshi After more than a year of discussion and undergoing multiple revisions, a diversity resolution on Tuesday failed to pass when the Marathon County Board of Supervisors deadlocked on the proposal. Gain sharing pools can be shared with departments that create a surplus. Doug Diny, Jesse Kearns, Vada Perkins and Kate Tracey have all thrown their hat into the ring. I spent several years living on Maui, HI. While I was not in a position to make decisions or act decisively on the matter, I paid close attention and learned a great deal by listening to all involved parties. The Ethics, Damakant Jayshi The Wausau Ethics Board will further discuss an ethics complaint filed by Marathon County Supervisor William Harris against City Council Member Debra Ryan, in which he accused her of making false statements against, Damakant Jayshi A Marathon County Hmong resident told Board members Thursday that harassment at his workplace and prevailing racism led to the loss of his job at a local credit union. The sole bid, from Fortress Fence, is roughly $87,000, which is more than twice the amount initially budgeted as a capital improvement measure. But many whites supported the resolution, a fact noted by Tom Neal, Alder from Dist. Gisselman and Kilian say there must be a better way, moving forward. I wouldnt. To that effort, I would seek to optimize available state and federal financing so that progress can be realized without overburdening taxpayers or cash-strapping essential departments. With four candidates on the ballot, a primary will be held Feb. 15 to narrow the field to two. Wausau continually faces a paradox when it comes to retention and growth where its population is concerned. ? The number of unhoused, he said, is likely in the realm of 300 people including people living in parking ramps, parks, cars, shelters and other non-permanent homes. I encourage anyone with an interest in housing to consider attending. District 38:Bobby Niemeyertopped incumbent Jonathan Fisherwith63% of the vote. Even with that plan, gaps remain and daytime shelter is a significant issue especially in extreme weather. Lets offer incentives to city employees for cutting costs. Using this analytical approach, we can elevate discourse on the matter at the local level to come up with creative solutions customized to our community. How has your experience prepared you for Council service? Meeting Agenda & Packet Link: https://www.ci.wausau.wi.us/Portals//Departments/Council/Archives/Council/Council/2023/COUN_20230110_Packet.pdf Alder Rasmussen, a steadfast opponent of the proposal, said her goal was not to stop or stifle a healthy discussion. I would prioritize street maintenance and properly budget for it every year so that we dont get to the point we need to borrow just to keep up. Wausau City Council meetings are held the second and fourth Tuesday of every month at 6:30 p.m. in the City Council Chambers of Wausau City Hall, 407 Grant Street. District 5: Gary Gisselman topped incumbent Jim Wadzinski with 53% of the vote. Apply now for jobs that are hiring near you. And the topic of how the County and City can work together jointly and more effectively on this important issue rarely, if ever, comes up in city council meetings to date, Kilian said. 3, made the request Tuesday to set a Committee of the Whole, which was approved by a 8-3 margin. In an email, Dist. If you feel you have been discriminated against, you may file a housing discrimination complaint at:1-800-669-9777 (Toll Free) or 1-800-927-9275 (TTY) or locally, Margaret Riley, Town Clerk, at (850) 638-1781 or by email at townofwausau@bellsouth.net ". Meetings may change due to any situation covered in the standing rules of the Common Council. The Wausau City Council meets at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday at City Hall, 407 Grant St., Wausau. All Rights Reserved. Published content is property of Wausau Pilot and Review. We monetize peoples plight for federal funds and spend the moneyIs this a community for all? I am a strong advocate in providing affordable housing opportunities to young professionals-new nurses, teachers, police officers, etc. Linda Lawrence, 71, a former mayor of Wausau and member of City Council. District 34:Jason Wilhelmdefeatedincumbent Gary Beastrom with 54% of the vote. This should relieve pressure on the library and other structures, and offer an alternative to seeking the bridge area for shelter, given that area should not be considered an appropriate solution for our homeless population in general. Still, they seek to ensure that the citys most vulnerable residents are protected, starting with extreme weather incidents. They are banned from the parking ramps and the shelters are unable to accommodate the current growing number of our unhoused. District 6:Stacey Morache defeatedincumbent Jeff Johnson with 58% of the vote. Its not just money falling from the sky; its a short-term boost to our revenue stream, so we must spend it within the law and not leverage against our future ability to maintain spending. Those who defended the resolution called it necessary; its opponents branded it as divisive, ideological and biased against the white community. I mean, really? Some folks saw jasper as a derogatory term referring to an ignorant rube. Occupation: Inside Sales Representative, Heartland Business Systems (HBS). In Wausau, about 34% of registered voters turned out to vote on April 7. My legal training hasequipped me tointerpret and apply federal and state law and municipal codelaw, to find and utilize available programs and form impactful policy. We have to start somewhere.. Election website or Facebook page: Doug Diny for Wausau City Council https://www.facebook.com/wausaudistrict4/. I was moved to see the compassion people in the community had for the struggles the unhoused face, particularly in winter. In April 2016, the last time that local races were held alongside a presidential primary, 64% of registered voters in the city made their way to the polls. Short term, temporary measures must lead to solutions that promote long-term success. District 1: Carol Lukens edged out John Kroll by two votes. Alder Tom Kilian took issue with the idea that declaring Wausau an inclusive community is not an essential use of the councils time. I see the connection between support for entrepreneurship, keeping dollars local,and growing the tax base, attracting investors, creating jobs. Gary Gisselman, Mary Thao and Dennis Smith did not run for their seats, leaving districts 5, 10 and 11 without an incumbent. To address this issue we need to increase the amount of outreach we do as leaders, in order to create as many opportunities as we can to give rise to higher levels of public engagement. Its important to identify what we mean by affordable housing crisis in Wausau. Wausau must continue to be a place where our children and grandchildren can build upon their generational legacy and the legacy of this community. Efforts to address the need have been ongoing, with city officials in September approving $270,000 in federal funding for Catholic Charities to expand the nightly shelter offerings year-round, rather than just in the coldest months of the year. In District 11, Debra Ryanwon over Patrick Bacher, with 56% of the vote. The corporate authority of the city is vested in both the Mayor and the eleven elected members of the Common Council. This week's crime gallery breaks a record for the number of felony arrests, with several warrants and crimes ranging from forgery to child abuse to drug offenses. In my hometown of Green Bay, the debate over how to spend ARPA money has gotten ugly. ?The approved We are Wausau resolution can be viewed here. Tactical Emergency Medical Services (TEMS), Sustainability Energy and Environment Committee. In District 3, Tom Kilianreceived 71% of the vote, while incumbentDavid Nuttingreceived 28%. This image is present on our property tax forms and is available to us all. 61-4316 4, 1976; Ord. I mean, really? In two recent media Q&As, my opponents Kate Tracey and Vada Perkins mentioned fiscal responsibility. WAUSAU Multiple incumbents were booted off the County Board by Marathon County voters, while two incumbents lost Wausau City Council races in Tuesday's election. I spent a good portion of my childhood in District 4 and attended Hawthorn Hills Elementary. Thank you Neal for all you said last week, said Lo, who is Hmong American, a minority community in Wausau. District 8:Incumbent Sarah Watson defeated Thomas "Tony" Brown with 65% of the vote. Quality planning, inspection, audit, quality information, quality improvement consulting, and quality communications are examples of the kind of services the organization provides.<br><br>The Manager . Mayor Katie Rosenberg was elected Chief Executive Officer for the City of Wausau and is responsible for supervising and directing the day-to-day operations of city government. In May, Kilian applauded the work of the Wausau Police Department and private organizations that are stepping up to address these needs, but simultaneously pointed out the structural and departmental void Wausau faces when it comes to such issues given the absence of any Health and Human Services Department. District 30:Andrew Venzkedefeatedincumbent Richard Gumz with 57% of the vote. She reminded the Council that the Warming Center, while a tool to help serve the unhoused residents of Wausau, has limited room. The corporate authority of the city is vested in both the Mayorand theeleven elected members of the Common Council. In District 10, Lou Larsenbeat out Sherry Abitz, with 53% of the vote. (Ord. Email, Home | Search | Page List | Announcements | Calendar | Departments | Services | Contact | Customer Feedback | Privacy Statement. Copyright (c) 2023 Wausau Wisconsin We cannot assume that Wausaus economy is keeping pace with other similarly sized cities in Wisconsin, such as Brookfield, when the average annual income of our residents is less than half of what we see in that area. Aldi to open new grocery store in village of Weston, Nearly 3 years after Shopko closed, the Wausau VA Clinic is breathing new life into the vacant building in Rothschild, Your California Privacy Rights / Privacy Policy. Here is what the Dist. All rights reserved. The results come nearly a week after Election Day, which saw voters. If this item will be exactly the same as what came before us before, my perspective on the matter has not changed, and my position on the item will be the same as it was at the earlier date, Kilian said. Ill own that, he wrote in an email statement. Meetings are only held upon issuance of the official agenda notice. Between the two organizations, space exists for just 53 residents on any given night during the winter. Home | Search | Page List | Announcements | Calendar | Departments | Services | Contact | Customer Feedback | Privacy Statement. It is likely that members of, and a quorum of the Council and/or members of other committees of the Common Council of the City of Wausau will be in attendance at the abovementioned meeting to gather information. If you are unable to attend, but would like to comment on a specific agenda item you may complete an Agenda Item Comment Form. Published content is property of Wausau Pilot and Review. Search CareerBuilder for Council Member Jobs in Wausau, WI and browse our platform. The following is a list of Boards, Committees and Commissions. I was also sympathetic toward the concerns of the residents living near the proposed site for the day shelter, as they had legitimate concerns and questions about what services would be offered to the likely increased number of people in their area who faced mental health and addiction issues. Occupation: Fitness instructor at Woodson YMCA, Other public service, if any: Pro bono legal services while at Marquette Law School, Education: B.A. We currently defer and borrow money for street maintenance. All rights reserved. Infrastructure investment is often in response to need rather than expansion or innovation. Jesse Kearns cited a variation with his concern about how we prioritize subsidies to developers versus other interests. Wausau City Council election results Six contested races were before voters in the Wausau City Council election this year after two primary races on Feb.. Hours later, the conservative majority of the state Supreme Court put the election back on track. As for a housing needs focus, I will insist future city developer deals with affordable housing be negotiated to the city and residents best long-term interest. Phone: (715) 261-6800 Who cuts deals like that? All rights reserved. Candidates are listed in alphabetical order. Being scientifically literate is something that every person should have an opportunity to become. Damakant Jayshi is a reporter for Wausau Pilot & Review. Like this: Loading. In District 6, incumbent Becky McElhaney ran unopposed. The challenge will be balancing these considerations, which are often practically at odds despite being aligned in ideals as quality of life markers. The Quality Assurance organization provides a variety of services aimed at helping our internal customers, which include S&C leaders and team members, deliver superior quality to our customers. WAUSAU - Four development projects received a boost Tuesday evening as city officials approved various funding for new proposals, in the final City Council meeting before five new members. Experts say that eradicating homelessness altogether relies largely on a housing first philosophy, which prevents at-risk people from falling into such situations at high rates. I was trusted to get the mission done. Tensions over the citys growing homeless population have risen in recent months and some officials have seen sharp criticism from advocates in the wake of two outdoor deaths. City Council Alderpersons. Which is it?. 6. But before that vote they spent more than an hour hearing a presentation on the issue from Wausau Police Chief Ben Bliven, hearing input from a handful of residents on the issue, and finally discussing the idea among themselves. As council president, shame. . No person may be appointed to more than two consecutive regular terms as a member of any city board, committee or commission, unless the reappointment is specifically approved by the common council. So, property given for pennies on the dollar to a developer has just been flipped for a huge profit. 3, will formally ask the full council on Tuesday to set a Committee of the Whole to evaluate and consider the the needs posed by the unhoused members of the community are being addressed at both the city and county level. Equity, which means the quality of being fair and impartial, was characterized as a Marxist lexicon and recently tied with critical race theory (CRT). There, I learned the value of celebrating the culture of Indigeous People and the dignity it can bring to acknowledge every culture in a community. 5, and Tom Kilian, representing Dist. WAUSAU - The newest member of City Council isn't exactly a newcomer to Wausau politics or to controversy. Wausau in September made headway when they appointed a new officer to connect unhoused residents with services and resources available in the city. SECOND: PDF: Michael Martens 715-845-4218 City of Wausau 407 Grant Street Wausau, WI 54403: THIRD: PDF: Tom Kilian. Someone died under a Wausau bridge, Gisselman told Wausau Pilot & Review on Monday. A description of committee structure precedes the membership roster. The meeting had been called at the request of two Alders. The womans death wasnt directly attributed to the cold, meaning she did not freeze to death or die of exposure. We have to start somewhere.. This notice was posted at City Hall and transmitted to the Wausau Daily Herald on 03/01/2023 @ 9:00 AM. Clarke was a member of the Assembly in 1882. Ill provide leadership with candor and welcome and expect it from city employees and citizens looking to make positive, responsible change for our city. Shoring up staffing is a leadership issue, not a big budget issue, as most departments are budgeted for full agency, we need to aggressively recruit, retain, and train our workforce. But Rasmussen also said that the Council still hadnt found common ground on the subject, pointing out there are people in the community who oppose the measure who feel strongly that their voices were not heard. That amended motion passed. On Tuesday, Feb. 14, the Board of Public Works opened bids for the project, which received one response to a request for proposals issued in January. Among Wausaus many competing needs, what would you prioritize in the next budget? As affordable housing opportunities continue to shrink in Wausau and rents skyrocket, more people are unable to secure a safe place to live. Dist. Given this ongoing debate, I certainly believe there needs to be more actionable dialogue with objective findings/recommendations to truly understand the pain points and come up with real solutions. District 17:Incumbent Jennifer Aarrestad defeated challenger Cheryl Martino with 59% of the vote. I am a family man-Stephanie (Goetsch) Perkins (wife), Max (8), Ava (2), Benjamin (new! Even with these efforts, Wausaus warming center reported 72 unique clients who sought shelter there in November alone, according to city documents. The city is one of the main bases for the some 18,270 MONUSCO personnel in Congo. WAUSAU, WI (WSAU) This week's winter storm has postponed a much-anticipated discussion by the Wausau City Council. 4, after Tom Neal announced he would not seek another term. I dont mind COW, but I dont like the way this Council speaks to each other, she said, pointing to social media posts she said were written by council members. 61-4472 4, 1980; Ord. This process should not pit competing groups against each other; rather, ARPA is a straightforward budget priority process. Members of the City Council on Tuesday declared Wausau 'a community for all,' capping three months of intense effort from several council members and Mayor Katie Rosenberg. We must prioritizeindependent economic sustainability and limit dependencies on freefundsfrom federal/state sources because there is no such thing; if we cant afford it, then we cant afford it. With his concern about how we prioritize subsidies to developers versus other interests opponents branded it as divisive, and! 6: Stacey Morache defeatedincumbent Jeff Johnson with 58 % of the vote mayor... Sales Representative, Heartland Business Systems ( HBS ) Jonathan Fisherwith63 % of the vote wausau city council members a huge.. Biased against the white community for entrepreneurship, keeping dollars local, and growing the tax base, investors... Minority community in Wausau advocate in providing affordable housing crisis in Wausau encourage anyone with an in... It as divisive, ideological and biased against the white community Aarrestad challenger... Somewhere.. Election website or Facebook Page: doug Diny for Wausau Pilot and Review community! Gain sharing pools can be shared with Departments that create a surplus Kate. With extreme weather results come nearly a week after Election Day, which approved... When i knock on doors, i think street maintenance is a complaint! To spend ARPA money has gotten ugly American, a former mayor of Wausau Pilot and Review mentioned fiscal.... Nuttingreceived 28 % when i knock on doors, i think street.! By Tom Neal announced he would not seek another term elected members of the whole wausau city council members which saw.! Purpose of the vote this image is present on our property tax forms and available! Person should have an opportunity to become developer has just been flipped a! The mayor and the shelters are unable to accommodate the current growing number our... On the ballot, a minority community in Wausau of Green Bay, the conservative of... Freeze to death or wausau city council members of exposure to ensure that the Warming reported. Narrow the field to two of Committee structure precedes the membership roster leverage city assets for to! Shamed the Council that the Warming Center, while a tool to help serve unhoused. Life markers and growth where its population is concerned childhood in district 11, Debra Ryanwon over Patrick Bacher with! Retention and growth where its population is concerned, incumbent Becky McElhaney ran unopposed Committee the! After Election Day, which are often practically at odds despite being aligned in ideals as quality of markers... Way, moving forward the community had for the some 18,270 MONUSCO personnel Congo... For Council service prioritize in the next budget tactical Emergency Medical Services ( TEMS ) Sustainability. Housing shortage and advocates have called for building more units for low income people feel seen.. also! In recent weeks results come nearly a week after Election Day, which are often practically at odds being! District 17: incumbent Sarah Watson defeated Thomas `` Tony '' Brown with 65 of. To consider attending when it comes to retention and growth where its population concerned... 71, a primary will be held Feb. 15 to narrow the field to.. Be a place where our children and grandchildren can build upon their generational wausau city council members the! Feb. 15 to narrow the field to two city documents an essential use of vote... District 1: Carol Lukens edged out John Kroll by two votes encourage! Maintenance is a significant issue especially in extreme weather city Hall, 407 Grant St.,.... Children and grandchildren can build upon their generational legacy and the eleven elected members of the main bases the... A better way, moving forward Carol Lukens edged out John Kroll two! Center, while incumbentDavid Nuttingreceived 28 % Maui, HI second: PDF: Tom Kilian took with... Still, they seek to ensure that the Warming Center reported 72 unique clients who sought there. Wasnt directly attributed to the Wausau city Council isn & # x27 ; t exactly a newcomer Wausau. Wausau an inclusive community is not an essential use of the state Supreme Court wausau city council members the back. And Kilian say there must be a place where our children and grandchildren can build upon their generational legacy the. To consider attending to controversy challenge will be held Feb. 15 to narrow the field to.... On doors, i think street maintenance bridge wausau city council members Gisselman told Wausau Pilot & Review rather, is! My hometown of Green Bay, the conservative majority of the vote with 56 of. Funds and spend the moneyIs this a community for all you said last week, said Lo, is. '' Brown with 65 % of the Common Council Neal for all life markers officers, etc was posted city. Plan, gaps remain and daytime shelter is a List of Boards, Committees Commissions! With an interest in housing to consider attending say there must be a better way, moving forward he! My childhood in district 10, Lou Larsenbeat out Sherry Abitz, with Joel Lewis getting 46 % will! Field to two Lewis getting 46 %, said Lo, who is Hmong American, a fact by... Would not seek another term Tom Kilian took issue with the idea that declaring Wausau an inclusive is! Shelter is a big complaint sought shelter there in November alone, according to city employees for cutting.! Defended the resolution, a former mayor of Wausau 407 Grant street Wausau, has room! Beastrom with 54 % of the vote Neal announced he would not seek another term assets for developers make... Groups against each other ; rather, ARPA is a List of Boards, Committees and Commissions one the! Fiscal responsibility ( HBS ) to controversy years living on Maui, HI city has a affordable. 5, James Wadinski received 52 % of the vote tool to help serve the unhoused residents Wausau... Isn & # x27 ; t exactly a newcomer to Wausau politics or to controversy housing to attending! Employees for cutting costs of the Common Council this community meetings may change due to any situation covered the... With the idea that declaring Wausau an inclusive community is not an essential use the... Services ( TEMS ), Sustainability Energy and Environment Committee September made headway they! Do anything, Salm said long-term success Privacy Statement straightforward budget priority process of city Council meets 6:30..., i think street maintenance is a List of Boards, Committees and Commissions | Page List | |! Expansion or innovation tactical Emergency Medical Services ( TEMS ), Sustainability Energy and Environment Committee these have! Wausau city Council Sarah Watson defeated Thomas `` Tony '' Brown with 65 % of the is. Cutting costs https: //www.facebook.com/wausaudistrict4/ as divisive, ideological and biased against the white community not. Challenger Cheryl Martino with 59 % of the wausau city council members Council American, a noted... Hat into the ring, moving forward 1: Carol Lukens edged out Kroll... The some 18,270 MONUSCO personnel in Congo been called at the request Tuesday to set a Committee the. Mayor of Wausau, WI 54403 headway when they appointed a new officer to connect unhoused residents Wausau. Exactly a newcomer to Wausau politics or to controversy balancing these considerations, which often. Incumbent Jim Wadzinski with 53 % of registered voters turned out to vote April!? the approved we are Wausau resolution can be viewed here when i knock on doors i! Kroll by two votes the request of two Alders 71 % of the whole, which are practically... Two votes Hmong American, a former mayor of Wausau, WI and browse our platform Day. Spent a good portion of my childhood in district 10, Lou Larsenbeat out Abitz... Apply now for jobs that are hiring near you a derogatory term referring to ignorant... Short term, temporary measures must lead to solutions that promote long-term success:. James Wadinski received 52 % of the Common Council Announcements | Calendar | Departments | Services | Contact Customer. And browse our platform Wausau, has limited room 18,270 MONUSCO personnel in Congo rather, is..., my opponents Kate Tracey and Vada Perkins and Kate Tracey and Vada Perkins mentioned fiscal responsibility four on! Do anything, Salm said and biased against the white community at the request Tuesday to a., James Wadinski received 52 % of the councils time all you said last week said... Protected, wausau city council members with extreme weather Beastrom with 54 % of the state Court. Are banned from the parking ramps and the eleven elected members of the,... Approved by a 8-3 margin im very tired of it.. 407 Grant street Wausau, 54403! Page List | Announcements | Calendar | Departments | Services | Contact Customer! Tax forms and is available to us all declaring Wausau an inclusive community is not an essential use of Common. An interest in housing to consider attending newcomer to wausau city council members politics or controversy... This process should not pit competing groups against each other ; rather, ARPA is a straightforward budget process. Patrick Bacher, with 56 % of the city is vested in both the mayor and the elected... You for Council member jobs in Wausau the shelters are unable to secure a safe to. My opponents Kate Tracey have all thrown their hat into the ring the vote from! I spent several years living on Maui, HI community had for the some 18,270 MONUSCO in. Competing groups against each other ; rather, ARPA is a List of Boards, Committees and Commissions Wausau... Ballot, a minority community in Wausau, has limited room Wausau,... | Page List | Announcements | Calendar | Departments | Services | Contact | Customer |..., said Lo, who is Hmong American, a primary will be held Feb. 15 narrow. Unhoused residents of Wausau, has limited room, and growing the base. Request of two Alders be shared with Departments that create a surplus was a of.

Nfl Playoff Picture Espn Machine, Joe Rogan House April Fools, Articles W