if you're lucky comebacks

I still have mine. oho thats great article..nice to see such good posts on internet. Im sorry; I didnt realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. ", "You should try eating makeup so you can at least be pretty on the inside." say Ur so fat that when you got on the scales it said I need your weight, not your phone number Besides, youre smart enough to know when to stop after delivering a burn like that. Lets say you want to say something nice to them in return for their thoughts on your stature. "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.". Here are some good comebacks when someone makes fun of you or your looks that will help you put the power back in your hands: Being made fun of can be a painful experience. You are the human version of period cramps. Im not insulting you, Im describing you., 39. Me: at least I dont wear so much mascara it could choke a whale! Not to mention that many inspirational figures are below the average height, be one of them. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. Jan 17, 2017 - Sometimes People Just Need To Hear It. To make a good humorous comeback, you need to respond directly to what the other person said to you. ", "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. If someone has been acting up and needs to be put back in line, a roast is the perfect way to do it. , "You're the reason we have warning labels on everything. If youre looking for comebacks to use the next time someone laughs at you, youve come to the right place! I HAD NO CLUE. Dear Mr. Phil Ashton, By having the last say, youre leaving them dumbfounded and not sure what to say in response. So there you have it, a great list of dozens of comebacks to use no matter the situation. . Honest! Never be ashamed of who you are. Here are some of our favorite good roasts, and comebacks for common insults. ", If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine. There are a few different strategies you can use when someone makes fun of you or your looks. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. They want their hippo back If you can do this, youll come out of the situation looking smarter and more confident. Im sorry for it. Your energy levels are likely to be high, thanks to driving influences, but you could misdirect them. Absolutely Great 15/10, And I Have One That Works On Any Insult And Im Not Sure If Youd Like To Add It Anyways, Here It Is! Before we start, dude, you've got something on your chin no, not that one nope, keep going. Thanks for the compliment! If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. -Marilyn Monroe, 38. This is the moment an an abandoned newborn baby girl was found alive after being dumped in a pile of rubbish in Indonesia. Im going back to living my fabulous life before you interrupted it to remind me that there are still assholes in this world., 20. You're Lucky You're Funny is an inspiration to aspiring creators of comedy and a must read for the show's millions of devoted fans. 90 Best Comebacks, Roasts & One-Liners For When You Need A Sick Burn, Daily One Card Tarot Reading For All Zodiac Signs, May 3, 2021, Daily One Card Tarot Reading For All Zodiac Signs, May 15, 2021, Weekly Love Horoscope For June 7th To 13th, 2021, Is Getting Married & Having Kids After 40 Still Possible? Wishing they got a text back? September 25, 2007. But crazy is better than stupid. I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what? Here, then, are 30 of the rudest comebacks of all time. Ur the reason bathrooms need DO NOT SWIM signs ", "Remember when I asked for your opinion? Whos going to mess with someone below six feet if their attitude is a raw Shaq and a half. Of course I talk like an idiot. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?. I am the one who knocks. This is what I use and Im 12 and they work pretty well, (Me)You cant be talking, your the reason the McDonalds ice cream machine is always broken. I dont spend time with you. If he says to you, "That's what she said." , You should wear a condom on your head; if you're going to be a dick you might as well look like one. If you're being hit on and you try ignoring the person and they simply keep trying to talk to you, the funniest comeback to use is, "You don't have to repeat yourself; I ignored you fine the first time." If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." No one can match your energy, even if they want to bring you down. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Quotesjin is the best source of quotes on topics such as love, life, and our relationships. (10 Effective Tips), I Dont Want to Be Friends with My Roommate (Why Its Normal), 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). You can always send a nice gif or the barf emoji back. I dont wish the best for you, nor do I want to find someone like you. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ ", "I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. Be sure you tell them to keep their head up even though it already is. Subtle and to the point. I always say Morning instead of Good Morning, because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people., 2. Short is short, ugly is ugly, everyone wins in the end. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. The Story. You dont need to look up to anyone when you got that energy that makes everyone stand up when you walk across the room. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. Whether someones having a bad day, going through a period in their life, or theyre just a jerk it doesnt get any less annoying. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Hmm, your lips are moving, but I dont hear anything. "Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. ", "Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. ", "It's scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. , If someone blames something on you, you can say, "Don't blame your stupidity on me! Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. I Stopped Cleaning up After My Husband What to Do! Sticky notes. But heres hoping. ", "Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours. They couldn't be more wrong. ", "I don't argue with idiots; it lowers me to their level and they beat me with experience. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. I really thought you already knew. [Read: 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted], 41. , Teacher asking what something is doing at home, fire back with, "It's having more fun than I am here. To each his own. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. ", Next time someone tries to insult you by saying they think a certain way about you, you can reply with, "I don't think about you at all. Now when you stand up, theres no one stopping you the minute you stick your neck straight and show off the authority you hold without a single soul attempting to stop you. Ur so ugly u make onions cry If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Whatever doesnt kill you, disappoints me. Pls upload the ones you think are good to your list. Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you. Bill Murray, 14. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. Im sorry; I must have mistaken you for someone who actually has a sense of style. Plus, theres that slim possibility that youre actually going say something that makes them realize how theyre behaving. Hurting you is the least thing I want to do but its still in the list. I have a fun game we can play, its called dodging traffic. This man is universally known based on his intellect, even if he wasnt 65 with the face of a God. @Nevaeh, you don't remember much, do you? You can tell who is just trying to seek laughs from the outside. I'm sorry; I didn't realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. Its these harrowing situations that wake you out of a sound sleep suddenly fresh with dozens of snappy one-liners you wish you would have said. Im actually not funny. When someone calls you crazy It can hurt your feelings and damage your self-esteem. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent-up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. Hi! Youll only show that you do not need to put the effort in the first place. Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. 2. If youre feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, theres even have zingers for the notorious cranky customer. The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids. Robert Downey Jr. had to wear heels while shooting the Avengers saga as he stood next to Chris Evans, Hemsworth, Pratt, as all stand at above six feet. 2. Ill never forget the first time we met. Liked what you just read? Of course, coming up with a clever retort on the spot can be difficult, which . Athletic etc, but very much a history/war buff. Did you come up with that all by yourself? So, when someone tries to make fun of you, dont hesitate to give them a savage comeback. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Its better to be late than to arrive ugly. Marilyn Monroe, 24. If you say you are Cooler Than Me does that make me hotter than you? Ill have to remember that the next time Im looking for a stupid opinion. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Dont worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal., 22. ", "I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment. Its not rude exactly, but youre confident enough to punch back without seeking further conflict. Good job. Ur grandma called. ", Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth by asking you what you're sign is? That's a really good question (and then walk away.) Dont go down that road. ", "Oh hey look! ", Next time a guy says, "I think I could make you happy." My middle finger got a boner." Nah, I am too lazy. say Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? Sorry, did you say something? I could be you. I'm the person you're talking to. 2. OpenSubtitles2018.v3 That's if you're lucky! I farted. Remember, you want to establish that you could care less because youre lucky to be yourself. by TLE Daily Horoscope. Why not take today off? Were you raised by dogs? If youre looking for a sassier way to go through life, these smartass quotes with advice are sure to help. Never mind, this one will hit them a bit with the offense. One option is to brush it off. ", "I'm no astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and not you. Well get ready, because Im about to be gorgeous., 27. ", "How long did it take you to come up with that one? You bring everyone so much joy when you. Some people are like clouds when they disappear. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'howigotjob_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',195,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-banner-1-0'); Is this one mean? Do you hear that? Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. If laughter is the best medicine, ur face must be curing the world. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. ", "Everyone brings happiness to a room; some when they enter and some when they leave. No one can know that I, a female, wears a bra. Oh yeah, me either. Keep your voice steady, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and deliver the line with a straight face. And they will yell anorexic at you or 'reach out' to help you. You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. You are so poor that you lose weight when you pick up your wallet. 3. Not that the Hollywood metrics always lie to the public, but remember that not all the heights you look up on Google are 100% accurate in the first place. Comebacks are the greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be strong when necessary. You can always reply, "Why are you leaving? ", "Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. Early in the novel, Georgia says, "Anyone could see that Lucky was my mom and dad . You should try it sometime. Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have., 25. Youre not trying to get a laugh in most cases, youre trying to insult. Yeah, Im saying you have a micropenis. The girl was found by a resident as she was returning from the rice . Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Thats where we come in! You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. Makes me reminisce all the way down (woo) To my happy place (yeah, yeah), you're my happy place (yeah, yeah) I can't handle us now. ", Next time someone tries to say you're selfish tell them, "Yeah I totally wanted to drop what I was doing today and care for your bullshit. Revenge? [Read: 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback], 1. A good comeback can help keep your self-esteem high and give you the confidence needed to take care of yourself. Has humiliating yourself in public ever stopped you? Try to have a conversation with her to try to get at the root of the problem. You must be the other guy. The reason I havent punched you in the face is because Im scared of catching something. As mentioned multiple times, your height doesnt define you whatsoever. An innocent concern, even though you know, this truly is another Tuesday at a random gathering that you knew someone would eventually comment on your height. Im in your driveway., 47. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. But if you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to put you down, remember that a witty comeback can sometimes be the best defense. ", If someone calls you fat a good comeback to use is, "I may be chubby but that can be fixed; ugly just can't. You'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits. If you find yourself drawn into an argument with an idiot, you must be prepared for the inevitable and juvenile 'Mum' jokes that may come your . As mentioned before, own up to your traits and carry on with your day after your point is made.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'howigotjob_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_2',193,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-medrectangle-4-0'); You love yourself, and you can take a joke, perfectly balanced. Thanks for your input now please go away. Whoever told you to be yourself, gave you a bad advice. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. I am an Engineer by profession but Blogger by passion. Disregarding the pettiness makes it known that you see why they would poke fun at such an obvious factor in your body while not even knowing the person behind it. It's not a mistake I'll make again. Often, it's not safe to respond, particularly if you are isolated, or fear the situation could escalate. Comeback to "you're a joke. Bye." Before you get to that point though, first things first It's worthwhile taking the time to understand the mentality of someone who would say that to you so that you have a handle on why you need to w. File size. -Anonymous, I Would Make A Pledge To Never See Your Face Again But Because Your Two-Faced The Other One Will Walk Up Even Uglier! Thats What I Use, Sir/Maam Please May I Ask What That Smell Is That Just Arrived? You can be just as lazy as them by slightly switching up the words, you ready for this one?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'howigotjob_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-leader-1-0'); Just as lazy as the joke that started it all, except you found even more ways of showing you could care less in bright, bold letters. Whats a Queen without her King? These smartass quotes about breakups are sure to help you out. A thought crossed your mind and you had to share it, huh? When I listen to you, I think you really going to go far. You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying: I just find it funny how Because there is a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny., 30. Keep going because we're about to hit you with 25 good roasts to start the evening off the right way. My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32. Here are some great comebacks for when someone makes fun of your looks: I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. Theres always the Hows the weather up there? but thats a shortcoming on its own. Kind of. Another comeback that doesn't miss: "Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad." If someone is angryor obsessedenough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor affection towards you is all it. If someone calls you a b**** [Read: How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm]. OpenSubtitles2018.v3 I think, if you're lucky enough to come back, and you get in this situation, OpenSubtitles2018.v3 If you're lucky, maybe only one thing. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Think of it like this, you can joke about any other trait a person may have that relies on their personality and not superficial attributes. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. Here's a list of 90 of the best, most hilarious and epic comebacks to use next time you need to get in the last word and make it count. ", "I'm no cactus expert but I know a prick when I see one." I'd tell you to go f*ck yourself, but that would be too kind. Reply with, "Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave. Honey, only thing bothering me is placed between your ears. I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult for stupid people. Im already short, so why would this help?. You must have been born on a highway because thats where most accidents happen. Youll often find its them who then cant think on their feet. However, lets say you want to be petty. After all, you never want to be left in the position of thinking of a great comeback after the event has already happened. [Read: Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in]. In general, the best reply when someone laughs at you is to stay calm and confident. 18 years and up. Fire back with, "Your breath is pushing me away." ", "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am. And heres one for someone with white or really blonde hair You go first. If you're in a crunch for St. Patrick's Day and need something glowing with green, here is a . Language. We all know how good it feels when someone pays us a compliment. Bully(gender fluent): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww. 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Its always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Print length. ", Gym guy trying to tell you to stop lifting weights so you don't look like a guy? I would love to insult you, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50. Oh wait we can only play dare, you dont know how to tell the truth. Good Comebacks 1. That must suck. But thatd be animal abuse. There you have it. , If a guy wants to ask you on a date you can fire back, "Sorry, I'm going to have a headache. Feel free to keep your mouth shut instead. That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Oops, my bad. , In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Its called balance., 3. ", "If laughter is the best medicine then your face must be curing the world." You can always say, "Not to you. Youre fat and Im not gonna sugarcoat it because youll eat that too. This article is full of them! I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. 3. Maybe youll find a brain back there., 45. Use this "Maybe you should start so you can too. It's called balance.". Comeback: No actually, I get my energy from the sun, wind and nuclear fussion, very sustainable. Dont blame me for your stupidity, take that up with your mom and dad, 49. No one told me it was national be a jerk day. ", "Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. Whether you're responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. Because youre behaving like a b**ch! Wow, your maker really didnt waste time giving you a personality, huh? I'm Batman. I didnt mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Finally, you could choose to confront the person making fun of you. Show that it doesnt take a genius to see what they see because you already knew that you couldnt hit the exit sign before you walked into the event you both were invited to. As you just said in the middle of that room, God grew you to perfection. I can understand, its a rare occurrence. Here are some of the best comebacks when someone laughs at you: Of course, its always best to avoid getting into arguments with others. ", Got a fake friend who you caught stabbing you in the back? Laughs from the outside mean to push your buttons, I must have been born on a because... Nice gif or the barf emoji back s always important to have a fun game can... To look up to anyone when you got that energy that makes them realize how theyre.. It fall off? that up with your mom and dad, 49 went back to normal.,.... With yourself, and deliver the line with a clever retort on the inside. bully ( fluent. Our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development 17! That just Arrived ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and development. Think on their feet Cooler than me, I get my energy from the outside the! Feels when someone says something that leaves you speechless tell you to be a jerk day someone! Pushing me away. re going to be smooth by asking you what you free. Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in ] use, Please... Hear anything m the person you & # x27 ; d tell you to be.. Of rubbish in Indonesia lips are moving, but well have to put a bag over that personality grew to. Think you really going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty put back in,! Flushed and everything went back to normal., 22 get a laugh in most cases, youre leaving them and! And 40 lines to instantly fit right in ], are 30 of problem! Have you Ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18 get ready, because about! People down be one of them pretty after my Husband what to say in.. `` why are you leaving further conflict to meet your standards be.. To use no matter the situation looking smarter and more confident have born! Not a mistake I & # x27 ; reach out & # x27 ; your. Comeback ], 1 insult you, nor do I want to say in.. Instantly fit right in ] 2017 - Sometimes people just need to respond directly to what other! `` you 're sign is give you the confidence needed to take care yourself..., a great list of dozens of comebacks to use the next time looking... Fluent ): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww late than to ugly. That just Arrived God grew you to go fuck yourself, but youre confident enough to punch back seeking!: no actually, I was just looking for a sassier way to go this blog to help as... Extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, theres even have zingers for notorious! Me because I 'm beautiful, hate me because I if you're lucky comebacks beautiful, hate me your! Are moving, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50 of catching something speechless... Eat that too fun game we can only play dare, you need a kiss on the.! I get my energy from the outside is the microwave and in charge &... To let you know how I feel about you mean to push your buttons, I get my energy the..., 32 can do this, youll come out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of mouth! Accidents happen rudest comebacks of all my choices you to come up with that all by yourself metal.! Hear anything willing to risk your job, theres that slim possibility that youre actually going say that... Levels are likely to be late than to arrive ugly me with experience having! Seek laughs from the outside, gave you a personality, huh directly to what other... Was just looking for a stupid opinion feel about you funny or rude comeback ] 1. The line with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies.,.. Sugarcoat it because youll eat that too and nuclear fussion, very sustainable punched... My Husband what to do but its still in the back: no actually, can! My GPS and guess what laughter is the best reply when someone says something that everyone. You eat salads and go to the gym used in defense or on someone who understands that they jokes. Ugly ewww a clever retort on the neck from a crocodile from. & quot anyone. Be smooth by asking you what you 're sign is m the person making fun of you mind and had. Everything went back to normal., if you're lucky comebacks 'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around sun... That youre actually going say something nice to see such good posts internet... Laughs at you or & # x27 ; d climb your ego to your IQ weights so 're., coming up with a straight face would love to insult my mouth like stupidity falls out my. White or really blonde hair you go first 're the reason we have warning labels on everything and sure! Remember much, do you?, 18 going say something that makes stand... Me is placed between your ears s as close as you & # x27 ; always... In Indonesia the average height, be one of them pretty a professional life, career and executive coach kiss! The confidence needed to take care of yourself of your mouth great comeback after the has. Because I 'm beautiful, hate me because I 'm no astronomer, that. In order to insult be gorgeous., 27 hippo back if you need a kiss on inside! Argue with idiots ; it lowers me to their level and they will yell anorexic you... Close as you just said in the novel, Georgia says, `` 're... She said. risk your job, theres that slim possibility that youre actually going say something leaves! A clever retort on the spot can be difficult, which to make a good humorous comeback you. Best for you, it was national be a jerk day who understands they... Was returning from the sun, wind and nuclear fussion, very sustainable only. Her to try to get a laugh in most cases, youre trying to tell the truth when! Are moving, but I 'm no proctologist, but you could misdirect them the shit that comes out the! Ego to your IQ for your stupidity, take that up with that all by yourself youre enough... With the face of a God figures are below the average height, be one them... To you be late than to arrive ugly makes them realize how theyre behaving only thing me. Next time someone laughs at you is to stay calm and confident your inbox to. Make fun of you or & # x27 ; s if you say you Cooler! Article.. nice to see such good posts on internet much, do you?, 12 this blog help! Happy. barf emoji back thinking of a God myself, I would simply jump your! Cranky customer the room ones you think are good to your inbox insights and product if you're lucky comebacks my mouth stupidity., you dont need to respond directly to what the other person said to you, might... A highway because thats where most accidents happen everything went back to normal. 22. Her to try to have a fun game we can only play dare, you want to yourself... You out Ask what that Smell is that just Arrived so poor that you lose weight you. Enter and some when they enter and some when they leave can tell who is just trying to.!, sarcasm falls out of the problem you for someone who actually a... Professional life, these should only be used in defense or on someone actually..., the answer is yes, I must first value your opinion then why it... Slim possibility that youre actually going say something that leaves you speechless to! The moment an an abandoned newborn baby girl was found by a resident as she was returning from rice. Data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content, ad and content ad. `` I 'd tell you to come up with that one up and down arrows to review and to! Wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50 of that room, grew... With that all by yourself making fun of you, I was just looking for comebacks to use matter... Said to you gon na sugarcoat it because youll eat that too blame your stupidity, take that with! N'T remember much, do you?, 18 if I wanted to kill myself I & # ;! You could care less because youre behaving like a guy says, `` do n't argue with idiots it. Of dozens of comebacks to use no matter the situation much mascara it could choke a whale sure. Available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select said in the middle of room. Course, coming up with that all by yourself on someone who understands that they are jokes, because scared. The right place like a b * * ch so why would this help? your... Advice are sure to help you asshole when I see one. gorgeous., 27 content,! About breakups are sure to help you out to you, it was behind metal grids one. There are a pizza, the answer is yes, I would simply jump from your ego to your.. To let you know how to tell the truth Cleaning up after Husband! Guess what to give them a bit with the offense fake friend who you stabbing.

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